L doesn't seem to understand how huge of a void Moose left in me. Since she died in November, there has been a part of me that has been missing, and nothing seems to be able to fill it. I love our zoo, especially Dwight, but there is a hole that Dwight can't seem to fill. Back when I convinced L to allow me to adopt Dwight 2.5 years ago, he told me that if I got this rabbit that we would not be getting a dog until after the rabbit passed. I didn't think much of it at the time, but now I'm really regretting the fact that I didn't renegotiate the terms of Dwight's adoption.
L seems to think that if we were to get a dog that Dwight would die of a heart attack only a few months later, even though we know of people who own a large breed dog (a mix between a Mastiff and a Great Dane) and he gets along marvelously with their older rabbit. This past weekend, we cared for our friend's puppy at our house, and by the third day, Dwight was no longer hiding behind the curtains, and his heart wasn't pounding in any irregular pattern. He had started to come to terms with the fact that a dog was in the house, and that it wouldn't eat him and that we would do everything in our power to keep him safe.
For some reason, L doesn't believe that by exposure, Dwight and any future pup could tolerate each other. L also doesn't understand how large the void Moose left in my chest really is. While it's gotten better over the last month or so, nearly every day I find myself with tears swelling in my eyes because something reminded me of her. Today, when I was at my parents' home, I was cuddling with Flurry (my cat), and realized how weird it was that there was now only one pet in my parents' household, which, in turn, made me think of Moose. While I was making chocolate ganache to spread on top of the brookies I made for L's uncle's birthday, I felt the pain the and gaping hole that formed in my chest the day that she died, and nearly cried into the icing. I miss Moose so much and I feel like I need my own dog to finally "get over" the loss of her.
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